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When I think of Carolyn, I am instantly filled with a love and comfort so deep that I cannot easily explain it. For me she feels like a home; like some warm and beautiful den buried deep within the earth that has existed for all of time. I have been close to Carolyn for more years than any other person I know (outside of my mother). She is part of the fabric of my being, she is a load-bearing beam in the structure of my life.

Looking back, I’m not even sure how I bonded with Carolyn. We were in the same class, yes, but she was hip, popular and pretty when I was none of those things. I don’t know why she looked beyond her circle and noticed me, awkward 14 year old that I was. I don’t know how we learned that we shared common values, dreams and passions (beyond Duran Duran that is). I only remember that we became regular features at each other’s houses. I remember that we stayed up all night recording songs or acting out imaginary worlds (us as cooking show hosts? Brilliant!). I remember that we shared victories and fears, cigarettes and tears as we floundered to discover and shape ourselves amidst the chaos.

Carolyn has brought so many gifts into my life. I could not name them all here, I can only tell you that she probably saved me (from my family and myself) on more than one occasion. She probably does not know it but she was the first person to discuss feminism, socialism and democracy with me - opening my mind to things my family never would have. She also guided my feet to my spiritual path and in doing so, changed my life forever. In these ways and in so many others, she shaped who I am today.

Happy Birthday Carolyn...you beautiful, vibrant, fucking powerful woman. Among my soul mates, you have loved me so long and so well. I only hope you have some idea of how much you are loved in return.

Do you remember us laughing
when you were a comet and I was a solar wind?
We burned through the black then,
engraving eternally entwining destiny.

In that life, we did not own our eyes
yet here, on the ground, I knew you still.
You with your honey hair and saddle shoes
were no less brilliant in this turning.

Your shining has been my constant,
my lodestone, my patient, granite guard.
I would not know my whole self
without your brass and beauty to reflect me.

One day they will find us on the grass,
singing loudly with our final, ancient breath.
Then we will slip loose our rice paper skin
to dance wildly, once again, into the void.

Hey babe, they're playin' our song...


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 7th, 2011 06:58 pm (UTC)
stunning - especially the first and last verses - they send shivers though me.
Jan. 7th, 2011 07:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you darlin'...it flatters me to think that you (a person who loves and reads poetry so much and who is a wonderful, super smart writer) likes things about my work.

Besides, you're winning massive points for being willing to read/slog through all of it. Bless you brave soul.

Love, me
Jan. 7th, 2011 07:49 pm (UTC)
Absolutely gorgeous, I mean that. I am deeply, profoundly touched, and impressed, and not surprised only because I have had the benefit of reading enough of your poetry before to know how good you are.

If you keep up at anywhere near this level for 365 days, you will undoubtedly have a publishable collection when you are done. Just sayin'.
Jan. 7th, 2011 08:37 pm (UTC)
*blush* Thank you. All you bookish/writer types liking my work is gonna go right to my head. Pardon me while I preen. ;>)
Jan. 7th, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC)
preen all you like, and then some more - you and your work deserves the praise.
Jan. 7th, 2011 07:59 pm (UTC)
Once again so beautiful and evocative.and also... I agree with Chelidon!
Jan. 8th, 2011 08:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you babe. Again, I am flattered that minds such as yours are enjoying my poetry. Thank you for the encouragement. :)
Jan. 8th, 2011 02:36 am (UTC)
I haven't been making time to post responses, but I am so happy and inspired by your poetry. Your poems are beautiful, and it is so awesome that you're putting it out here. (I hope this doesn't come across as a backhanded compliment, because in fact "putting it out there" is something I have a lot of struggle around with my writing, so I hope to convey that I genuinely admire the courage of doing so.)
Jan. 8th, 2011 08:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you sweet Tony. I know you are super busy but it is so sweet of you to respond. You always have supported and encouraged me and my poetry...thank you for that.

Gods - I miss you so badly. I start rehearsals for "The Wedding" soon but I'd love to schedule a call when you get a bit of free time. I would love some divine twin time.

In the mean time, I am wishing you the very best for 2011. You, my brave, wise, beautiful twin, deserve that and so much more. Kisses, me
Jan. 9th, 2011 05:02 am (UTC)
Love to you! Fridays are my most reliable at the moment, as I have class until 6 your time, after that I'm free. Sunday evenings are fairly consistently available as well.
Jan. 8th, 2011 04:36 pm (UTC)
Oh, Jen, this is beautiful!
I'm speechless, which is perhaps not surprising since this took my breath away.
Very, very well done, my friend.
Jan. 8th, 2011 08:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you sweet Ken. That makes me puff up a bit with pride. Much love to you dear one...me
Jan. 21st, 2011 04:43 am (UTC)
Oh I love this so...

And the line " In that life, we did not own our eyes
yet here, on the ground, I knew you still.
You with your honey hair and saddle shoes
were no less brilliant in this turning."

So loving, yet conrete. Perfect!

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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