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Can't a girl have some roots?

As I get older my life goals get more and more simple. If you'd asked me what I wanted from life 20 years ago, I'm sure I'd have had a star studded list of items. 5 years ago I'd still have had at least 5 items. Now, I want one thing and one thing only: "to be happy".

I realize that it's not the simplest of requests, but it's not the most demanding either. I don't claim to know the form that this happiness with take, nor do I wish to dictate it. Certainly I realize that I am responsible for making this happiness myself and I am working hard at it in lots and lots of ways.

I have to wonder why, whenever things seem to be settling and I seem to get into a fruitful groove, that something changes - or threatens to change in a way that will make things very difficult again. Certainly many people have it harder than I and I am oh so very grateful for all the blessings in my life (and there are many). Still, I'd just like a time of peace and stability so that I can finally put down some roots. I ripped everything up a year and a half ago and I still don't feel solid or safe.



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 16th, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)

I understand what you're saying.
Sep. 16th, 2009 03:00 am (UTC)
This girl would like some too! It looms large for me in the decisions I face now as I search for employment. On the one hand, while I'm not feeling rooted, this might be a good time to move (like, to another state). On the other hand, I don't know if I have the reserves of energy to completely upend my life again and start from scratch somewhere.

Stability is so desired, so tempting.... and, I'm learning, it comes with a price. I'm still haggling.....
Sep. 16th, 2009 08:27 pm (UTC)
Good luck to you lady!
Sep. 20th, 2009 12:12 am (UTC)
Thanks!! You too!
Sep. 16th, 2009 03:54 am (UTC)
Ah, you are so not alone in this feeling.
Sep. 16th, 2009 04:57 am (UTC)
I empathize as well. This weekend was full of so much love and coming back to work was like hitting my funny bone and finding there's still much vulnerability.
Sep. 16th, 2009 08:28 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry love...the love is always there, no matter the miles between us.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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