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Can't a girl have some roots?

As I get older my life goals get more and more simple. If you'd asked me what I wanted from life 20 years ago, I'm sure I'd have had a star studded list of items. 5 years ago I'd still have had at least 5 items. Now, I want one thing and one thing only: "to be happy".

I realize that it's not the simplest of requests, but it's not the most demanding either. I don't claim to know the form that this happiness with take, nor do I wish to dictate it. Certainly I realize that I am responsible for making this happiness myself and I am working hard at it in lots and lots of ways.

I have to wonder why, whenever things seem to be settling and I seem to get into a fruitful groove, that something changes - or threatens to change in a way that will make things very difficult again. Certainly many people have it harder than I and I am oh so very grateful for all the blessings in my life (and there are many). Still, I'd just like a time of peace and stability so that I can finally put down some roots. I ripped everything up a year and a half ago and I still don't feel solid or safe.

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( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
hedgewalker
Sep. 16th, 2009 01:00 am (UTC)
Roots
Sigh.

I understand what you're saying.
firedancer_ny
Sep. 16th, 2009 03:00 am (UTC)
This girl would like some too! It looms large for me in the decisions I face now as I search for employment. On the one hand, while I'm not feeling rooted, this might be a good time to move (like, to another state). On the other hand, I don't know if I have the reserves of energy to completely upend my life again and start from scratch somewhere.

Stability is so desired, so tempting.... and, I'm learning, it comes with a price. I'm still haggling.....
jennlynn_green
Sep. 16th, 2009 08:27 pm (UTC)
Good luck to you lady!
firedancer_ny
Sep. 20th, 2009 12:12 am (UTC)
Thanks!! You too!
cubsgirl68
Sep. 16th, 2009 03:54 am (UTC)
Ah, you are so not alone in this feeling.
muddyslush
Sep. 16th, 2009 04:57 am (UTC)
I empathize as well. This weekend was full of so much love and coming back to work was like hitting my funny bone and finding there's still much vulnerability.
jennlynn_green
Sep. 16th, 2009 08:28 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry love...the love is always there, no matter the miles between us.
(Deleted comment)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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